BREAKING NEWS – Hollywood is banning all nudity from films. Distraught and confused, one actor stated, “Being clothed isn’t what I signed up for.” Another source says they’re worried about this new narrative and agenda being pushed on their children.
In the midst of utter chaos and uncertainty, Hollywood came out with a troubling statement, “These are dark times for us all. To our directors, writers, and producers, we know that not objectifying our actors is unthinkable. For many, your biggest nightmare is now your reality. People will have to enjoy your movies for their storyline and your actors’ performances.”
Producers are deeply concerned this new policy will foster better morals and respect in the workplace. Many have already threatened to strike in protest. Only one thing can be certain, Hollywood as we know it is over.
Just kidding. Hollywood is still the same, and that’s why VidAngel is here. Because we believe that romance in movies is possible with clothes on, conversations can be had without curse words, and action movies can be enjoyed without someone’s head getting cut off. Spoiler alert: People sometimes like shows for the plot.
Happy April Fools.